We asked our new writer, Nick Ruiz, to share his feelings around a song that someone special showed to him.
“Cruise” by Saeyers.
A shared song is a jar and the moment is a firefly. The right song captures both the memory and sentiment during that era of your life. When a great song is shared with you, it solidifies that day as strengthening your bond with that person as it is now meaningful for you both. Searching for the perfect song to drive along to is a universal impulse that helped me bond with my sister in this situation.
Each time I listen to “Cruise”, I am reminded of her and the day I put Odessa in my rearview again. I was relieved and full of hope as I believed I was leaving my family in a good place to pursue my future again. The song played as the sun set while I hit the long, straight shot to my new apartment. I had moved away once before, but I was with my brother who took the role as my guidance and safety net to mature into responsibility and my principles. This time I was with some trusted friends and the pace was now mine to set.
I came back home for my brother’s wedding to give a more conclusive goodbye to my family. I had spent the last few years getting back on my feet and being supportive of them where I could. I strived to be the rock and to assure them that things would be ok. I had seen my sister’s transition into high school and become independent. My parents had built the home, piece by piece, and my brother was also setting down roots.The opportunity to leave town came up and I seized it now that everyone had found their footing. The doubt still lingered, but I reminded myself that everyone in my family was moving into a bright new stage of their lives just in time for me to branch out into mine. That weekend was the assurance I needed that leaving was not the same as abandoning. I saw everyone’s happy faces as we shared talks of all the great things on the horizon. The following day I grabbed the remainder of my belongings, said goodbye, and left with no return date set.
I have a habit of starting long trips in the evening or after sundown because it offers a more comfortable drive. It’s the most fitting way to end a trip as the goodbyes are fresh, and I am awake enough to reflect. This was the track my sister sent me for company on the road back to my new home. I’ve listened to several albums from her and other friends, but this was the stand-out in the playlist. It’s the one that takes me back to that time and that bittersweet relief.
For months and even the years after, the song still never gets lost (or skipped) in the shuffle of my playlists, and I often revisit it when I am driving to clear my head. I have since passed it along to other friends. If it only serves as a fun song, that would be enough, but I always hope that it can be a jar for them, too.
“Don’t want to be someone else, just want to be alright.”